2010 Super Early Summer Movie Preview

Since there isn't a damn thing hitting the cinema in the next few months, I figured it would be cool to preview what's actually coming this summer as I get ready to prepare my schedule. I know it's a bit premature, but oh well! There are some real big movies coming out, and might I add some real big movies that I have absolutely no interest in seeing (AKA The third Twilight movie). We got your usual comic book sequel (Iron Man 2), your Adam Sandler movie (Grown Ups), your Will Ferrell comedy (The Other Guys), your M. Night Shyamalan possible disaster (The Last Airbender), your Summer Pixar blockbuster and oh what a blockbuster it is (Toy Story 3), and your usual kid-friendly blockbuster (Shrek 4). Should be a big box office summer. Of course the dates might change, but here's a rundown of some of the big movies to look forward this summer with (of course) my two cents added. Screw it, even though it's not technically summer, let's start with the end of April.

Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (April 23)- Michael Douglas returns as Gordon Gekko fresh out of prison and ready to get right back in the game. Of course, he gets out of prison to see the economy in shambles. Guess he was apparently wrong that "Greed is Good!" The movie takes place twenty years after the original. I'm not sure anybody saw a sequel coming to Wall Street, but apparently Oliver Stone did as he is once again behind the camera. If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time that Stone's directed a sequel. What's next, Platoon 2? Nothing in Hollywood surprises me anymore, so probably. Shia Labeouf and Josh Brolin will be playing the other leads, and I assume that Charlie Sheen will have some type of cameo. Labeouf is hitting the jackpot with these sequels. First it was Charlies Angels 2, then the Transformers movies, the fourth Indiana Jones flick, and now this. I only saw bits and piece of the first movie and have limited interest in the sequel. Although I do enjoy Michael Douglas. PASS

A Nightmare On Elm Street (April 30)- With other horror franchises such as Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Friday The 13th rebooted, it was only a matter of time until the Elm Street franchise got the reboot as well. In one of the best casting decisions of all time, Jackie Earle Haley is going to don the red and gray sweater as Freddy Kruger. Haley is signed for two sequels and hopefully will imitate the Freddy Kruger from the first installment, and not the one who was playing video games with Breckin Meyer's mind in Elm Street 6. Haley is so creepy looking that I don't think they'll even need to smear his face with the make-up. I've seen the trailer, and he might be able to pull off making us forget about Robert Englund who was the original Freddy. Supposedly this movie is going to be a lot creepier than the original, and Freddy is going to be a lot more vicious. The role of Nancy Thompson will be played by Rooney Mara. I wonder if Heather Langenkamp who was the original Nancy will return in a cameo. Connie Britton (Tara from Friday Night Lights), Clancy Brown, and Katie Cassidy also are in the cast. I'm sure this movie will do well, which makes me curious how they will remake Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge when the time comes around. If ever a movie needs to be remade in the Elm street franchise, it would be #2. That movie needs an overhaul without the cheese and homoerotic overtones that made it a very strange movie watching experience. More on this in a future blog. MUST SEE

Iron Man 2 (May 7)- This is the first summer blockbuster, and should rack up some major dough. Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark. Also returning are Gweneth Paltrow, Samuel Jackson (yes he was in the first movie, you have keep watching after the credits), and Jon Favreau in the directing chair. I didn't think Favreau could pull off directing a movie of this calibur, but he hit a grand slam with the first installment. Don Cheadle replaces Terrance Howard as Col. James Rhodes in this movie. Also joining the cast as villains are Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson, and the legendary comeback machine Mickey Rourke. Good to see John Slattery (Roger Sterling from Mad Men) in the movie as Tony Stark's father. Comic book sequels are usually better than the first installment because it gives the writers the opportunity to dive right into the story without having to give us the build up of how the character got his powers. Hope that is the case with Iron Man 2. Robert Downey Jr. might be the best actor of my generation, and was dynamite as Tony Stark in the first installment. Can't wait for this movie. MUST SEE

Robin Hood (May 14)- Wow, Robin Hood is actually going to have a real authentic accent this time around unlike Kevin Costner back in 1991's Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves. Reason being is because Robin Hood is being played by Aussie actor, Russell Crowe. This Robin Hood flick is being directed by the legendary Ridley Scott. Other big names in the cast are Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian, and Kevin Durand (Keamy from Lost) as Little John. I'll have to catch the trailer before I decide to hit this one, but I'll probably end up seeing it. MAYBE

Shrek Forever After (May 21)- Do we really need another Shrek movie? The first one was outstanding, but I thought Shrek 2 and 3 were totally abysmal. Mike Myers (Shrek), Eddie Murphy (Donkey), Cameron Diaz (Fiona), and Antonio Banderas (Puss In Boots) are all returning along with all of the other actors who voiced roles in the other three movies. Even John Lithgow returns as Lord Farquaad. Instead of going to see in it the theaters and being surrounded by a smorgasbord of little kids, I think I'll just wait until it hits DVD or cable to watch. I have a very small interest in Shrek, but it's now just an overblown kid's franchise to keep hawking more Shrek merchandise. PASS

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time (May 28)- Based on the 2003 video game series of the same name, it was only a matter of time until it became a possible movie franchise. Under the Disney banner, this movie has all the makings of a sleeper hit. Jake Gyllenhal stars as the Prince in a surprising casting choice, but he really bulked up for the role. The movie also stars Ben Kingsley as the villain, as well as Alfred Molina and Gemma Atherton. I'll wait for the reviews to determine if I want to check it out in the theater. MAYBE

Sex And The City 2 (May 28)- Uggh! Something tells me I am going to end up having to go see this with the wife this summer. The first one was pretty awful, but not as bad as I originally thought. At least I'll know what's going on with the ladies and can't wait to see them in their spectacular clothes. Isn't that such a Samantha thing to say? The original cast from the show returns minus Sarah Jessica's mole. Still not sure if Jessica Hudson is going to be in this one. Rumor also has it that Miley Cyrus, Barbra Streisand, and Bette Midler are making cameos. Tip to all guys who read the column. If you are single and want to score some points, I suggest hitting the premiere and doing your homework so you can converse with the ladies which might help your chances of getting laid. MAYBE * (*at the mercy of my wife!)

Marmaduke (June 4)- Sounds like it's going to be a live action/CGI movie featuring the memorable dog from the comic strips. It's still in pre-production, and I have an inkling it's not going to be ready for the summer. Owen Wilson has signed on to voice Marmaduke. William H. Macy and Lee Pace will be playing humans, while Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin), George Lopez, Damon Wayans, and Fergie will be doing voice work. No real interest. PASS

The A-Team (June 11)- Has there ever been a good film adaption of a retro TV show? Let's see here, umm, the Dukes Of Hazzard was atrocious, so was Miami Vice, Fat Albert, The Brady Bunch, Get Smart, and the list goes on and on. Will this adaption be any different? With a pretty much unknown director at the helm, it could go either way. Starring Liam Neeson as Hannibal, Bradley Cooper as Face, Shalto Copley (who?) as Murdock, Quinton Jackson as B.A. Barracus, and Jessica Biel as hot piece of ass. I sure hope Mr. T makes some kind of cameo and that the score stays true to the original theme song. Please no Ludacris hip-hip version of the iconic theme song. I'm curious about this one, but The A-Team could be fun just for the nostalgia factor. This could be the beginning of another franchise or a future nominee for a Razzie award. PROBABLY

Get Him To The Greek (June 11)- This one is a spin-off movie of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Although I can't stand the guy, Russell Brand did a nice job in that movie as Aldous Snow. Now his character has to get to a big show, and a young intern at a record company gets his big break to make this happen. The intern is being played by Jonah Hill who also appeared as a waiter in Sarah Marshall. Couldn't they pretend he's the same character, and write a script following what happened after the events of Sarah Marshall with these characters? It does look like there are some cool rock star cameos in it, and the premise has potential. Also, Nicholas Stoller is back to direct this movie. Could be a sleeper. MUST SEE

The Kung Fu Kid (June 11) - No comment, I'm pretending this movie never was made. Please join me in boycotting this movie in the name of William Zabka!! Considering it's coming out the same day as of now as The A-Team and Get Me To The Greek, it's going to bomb anyway. PASS

Footloose (June 18)- Hmm, I probably should have guessed that a remake of Footloose was long overdue. Considering Fame flopped at the box office, I'm not sure how well this remake is going to do. Of course, it has a great soundtrack, and has Kenny Ortega at the helm. This is the same guy who made High School Musical a nationwide sensation, and put together the Michael Jackson documentary This Is It using footage he had as director of the performance that never was. Zac Efron was originally offered the part. But in fear of being typecast, he bowed out. Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl will play the role instead. Julie Hough from Dancing With The Stars will play the female lead. I wonder if John Lithgow is going to play the priest who wants dancing banned? I never understood why people gush over this movie. I recently watched the original, and had to drink a Red Bull to stay awake while watching. PASS

Jonah Hex (June 18)- DC Comics is stepping up to the plate to compete with Marvel this summer with this adaptation of the comic book hero of the same name. Josh Brolin is the lead character playing the disfigured bounty hunter. Wow, who would have thought that back in 1985, Brandon from The Goonies would be one of the biggest names in Hollywood. John Malkovich in his first big budget movie in a while is cast as the villain. The vivacious Megan Fox plays Brolin's love interest. This movie got a lot of buzz at this summer's Comic Con in San Diego, and could be one of the big movies this summer. Legendary heavy metal Mastodon is doing the music for the film, which should be neat. I'm sure this movie release date is going to be switched, as no movie studio is going to want to compete with the next movie I'm about to write about. MAYBE

Toy Story 3 (June 18)- The new Toy Story movie finally arrives this summer, and is probably going to break all kinds of box office records. You can be damn sure there will be plenty of licensing deals galore, and you won't be able to escape the buzz this movie is going to create. Fanboys, little kids, grandmas are all going to flock to this one. I have heard a few details about the plot from the Mattel product manager responsible for the upcoming Toy story figures. It doesn't sound too interesting, and I'm sure the movie won't be able to stand up to the first two. But it is Pixar, so we can never underestimate them. Does the plot even matter? Just the delight that Woody and Buzz Lightyear give us is worth the price of admission. Parents, beware, you will be spending a lot of dough on Toy Story merchandise next year. MUST SEE

Grown-Ups (June 25)- Another summer, another Adam Sandler movie! And although the critics seem to pan each and every Sandler movie, I still enjoy his work even though it's not 1999 anymore. Grownups is directed by Dennis Dugan who had worked on a slew of Adam Sandler's movie as director. He also directed Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, and You Don't Mess With The Zohan. Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob Schneider (of course because it's a Sandler movie!) and David Spade (also of course it's a Sandler movie!) are also the movie. The premise of the movie is about five friends from high school who reunite in their home town thirty years later when their old school basketball coach passes away and they decide to spend the 4th of July weekend at the lake house where they celebrated their basketball championship. I'm sure it will be funny, and I try not to miss Sandler movies in the theater. Even though I did pass on his last summer movie, Funny People. MUST SEE

Twilight: Eclipse (June 30)- Yet another of these stupid Twilight movies is coming out this summer. It seems that these Twilight movies keep popping up like a bad zit. I still don't understand this whole vampire culture rebirth, and especially don't understand the appeal of this franchise. But I guess I'd have to be a 16 year old high school chick to really care about this. PASS

The Last Airbender (July 2)- After flopping at the box office the past few years with The Lady In The Water and The Happening, M. Night Shyamalan is now going to adapt a Nickelodeon cartoon into a full length feature. I'm curious how he is going to pull off another switch ending, especially in a movie geared toward kids. The trailer for the movie looks pretty sweet. But as one of the few who couldn't tolerate The Sixth Sense and Signs, I'm pretty content with the fact that any future movie of his will not make me say WOW! PASS

Predators (July 7)- Robert Rodriguez is on board to relaunch the Predator franchise now that the whole Alien vs.Predator thing is over. Apparently, this movie be the direct sequel to the original, and we can pretend that Predator 2 (aka Predator takes NYC) and the Alien/Predator garbage never happened. There are even talks of Arnold returning for a cameo, but I'm sure the governor of California has better things to do with his time. The cast includes Adrien Brody, Alice Braga, Topher Grace, and Danny Trejo. I actually enjoyed Rodriguez's films such as Desperado, Grindhouse, and Sin City. Since I wasn't really happy with Predator 2, I'd like to see what is Rodriguez's vision for the Predator franchise. I'll lay down the dough to check it out. MUST SEE

Despicable Me (July 9)- Another family-friendly movie for the kids, but the catch is it's going to be in 3D. You never know with these animated movies which will be good and which will suck. It has a nice little cast providing their voices: Steve Carell, Jason Segal, Kristen Wiig, Danny McBride, and Russell Brand. Hmm, are we sure that Judd Apatow is not involved considering the cast features some of his troupe of actors? We'll have to wait and see on this one. MAYBE

The Sorcerer's Apprentice (July 16)- Nicholas Cage is Disney's new bankable star. Now that he's got two National Treasure movies under his belt, it's time to appear in the live adaption of The Sorcerer's Apprentice from Fantasia. Here's the plot summary straight from Wikipedia: An average college student is reluctantly recruited to work for a sorcerer who gives him a crash course in the art and science of magic to prepare him for a battle against the forces of darkness in modern Manhattan. My good pal Jay Baruchel who I met on the streets of Montreal appears to be playing the role of the college student. Good to see his career is really taking off. His being in this movie might be the only reason to go see it. MAYBE

Inception (July 16)- Christopher Nolan's first film since The Dark Knight. I will go see anything that Christopher Nolan is involed with. I love the way this guy tells a story and he just might just be the best filmmaker in Hollywood today. The Dark Knight, Memento, and The Prestige were all classics. Inception is a sci-fi action thriller set within the architecture of the mind. Cast includes Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, and Marion Cotillard. I'm expecting big things from this one. MUST SEE

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (July 30)- No comment on this one! PASS

Little Fockers (July 30)- Wasn't one sequel to Meet The Parents enough? I know this movie is going to suck, but I'll sure get suckered into going to see it. It has all the ingredients for a disaster. Yes, Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro are returning along with Terri Polo and Owen Wilson. But it looks like no Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, or Barbra Streisand. And Jay Roach who directed the first two movies has moved on. Supposedly the movie is going to focus on the Fockers raising their five year old twins, while also including themes about death and divorce. I'll cross my fingers that Little Fockers puts a nice close to the franchise. Though seriously this has got to be the last Focker movie!!! MUST SEE

The Other Guys (August 6)- Every other time Adam McKay has teamed up with Will Ferrell, the results have been outstanding. Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Stepbrothers were three of the funniest movies of the decade. Hopefully the streak continues with the fourth movie. Mark Wahlberg was cast as Ferrell's partner, and I'm curious to see if they have the same chemistry as the Ferrell/John C. Reilly duo. The movie's premise is that Ferrell and Wahlberg are two NYPD detectives who rarely see any action. When the two lead detectives played by Samuel Jackson and The Rock (sorry, Duane Johnson just doesn't seem to have a good ring to it) disappear, opportunity presents itself for the two goofballs with strange results. As long as the formula continues, it should rank as the funniest movie of the year. MUST SEE

Step Up 3-D (August 6)- What do you think? No chance even if the cheerleaders look good in 3-D. Considering it will be rated PG, I doubt it' will be the kind of 3-D that I want to check out. PASS

Friday The 13th Part 2 (August 13)- It's pretty funny when remakes of original horror classics are getting sequels. The studios will keep milking these movies because they are cheap to make and do well during opening weekend. Not a big Friday the 13th fan, so I'll skip this one. PASS

Beezus & Ramona (August 13)- I loved the Ramona books from Beverly Cleary as a kid, and am curious to see how the movie is going to be for nostalgic purposes. It's confirmed that Henry Higgins is also going to be in the movie. Might just wait until it hits DVD. Rest assured if I have a daughter as opposed to a son, I will make sure they read the Ramona Quimby books. MAYBE

The Expendables (August 20)- Hollywood is saving the best movie of all for the end of summer. Finally, a movie that has long been overdue. Directed by Sly Stallone, The Expendables is going to be the biggest action movie of all time regardless of the reviews. And for that matter, does the plot even matter either? It's probably the best ensemble cast of all time. I mean, check out this roll call of action stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Stratham, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, and even a surprise cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger. The funniest tidbit of all is that the main bad guy is David Zayas. It's going to be strange seeing Angel Batista as the antagonist. My only question is where is Jean Claude Van-Damme and Stephen Seagal? Maybe they are being kept for the sequel? This movie is going to rock, probably the most anticipated movie of 2010. MUST SEE

Should be an interesting summer. Although I'll have my kid by then, so a lot of these movies may be on hold until they arrive on DVD. Because I refuse to be one of the idiots who brings their baby with them to the cinema. :)