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Friday, January 22, 2010

MisenPOPic Update 1/22/10

Man do I hate these A-List celebrities who feel they need to boost their egos by showing the world how much they care about the less fortunate. Of course I'm referring to tonight's Hope For Haiti star-studded telethon. It's the same crop of douchebags that appear on all of these telethons and commercials: George Clooney, Bono, Leonardo Dicaprio, Stevie Wonder, Dave Matthews, Bruce Springsteen, and Brad Pitt. They care so much about raising money for other countries, yet would you ever see any of these stars on Jerry Lewis' telethon to help kids in their own country with muscular distrophy? Now don't think I am a uncaring and disspirited monster! What happened in Haiti was just awful, and we should all make donations and show sympathy for the Haitian people. But do I need celebrities to play music and beg me to donate money? If these celebrities donated food, supplies, and cash to Haiti, that's wonderful. Just shut up about it and do it, there is no need to prove who donated more amongst the Hollywood industry!! These actors and singers think they are messiahs or prophets and can change the world, but remember they are only people who act and sing for a living. The only reason most of these celebs reach out is to inflate their ego and keep their image clean in the public eye. They care about world issues which is great, but could care less about me or you if we approached them in a public place for a quick photo opportunity and autograph. Why does this telethon have to be on every damn channel, and why is it so easy to predict who is going to be on? You just know Stevie Wonder, Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Sting are going to be on. And it's not a relief effort without Bono involved in some way. And jeez, the producers of this show like to fuck with us by making us think that if we call right away, we'll get to talk to a celebrity like Sasha Baron Cohen, Stephen Spielberg, or Colin Farrell. What a crock of shit! I knew the Haiti telethon was on tonight, but assumed it would only be on MTV and shown on-line! I'm just pissed because I was looking forward all day to watching one of my new favorite shows tonight on ABC, Shark Tank. That's all I have to say about that!

Toyota announced that there is a major recall on Camrys and Corollas. This is just great! Guess who is the proud owner of a 2008 Toyota Corolla! It's me! Supposedly, there is a problem with the acceleration pedal causing the automobile to automatically speed up on it's own. There have been a lot of bad accidents in which drivers and their passengers are on the roads when the car just goes loco on them causing them to drive straight-on into buildings or flipping over hills and ponds like the General Lee did on The Dukes Of Hazzard! That's the last thing I need right now, for my car to go all Knight Rider on me! With our economy just bouncing back, the last thing we need now is for Toyota to start bleeding money as they try to restore their image. If they can give me an upgrade and a Mark Sanchez autographed ball, Toyota can have my car back.

Just finished reading Tera Patrick's new biography, Sinner Takes All. No I didn't spend cash on it, I just spend three days reading it at Barnes And Noble and Borders. I'm sure the managers loved me sitting there reading the book not caring if the obscene photos were in full view of their customers. I did my best to hide what I was reading if kids walked by. If it's going to be on the NY Times Best-Seller list next week (even though I don't know anybody except myself who would buy this book or even read it, yet the sales will be in the millions) then it's all good. Add it to the list of other books written by porn stars that I have read without purchasing which includes Jenna Jameson, Ron Jeremy, and Jerry Butler. These books were all so fascinating! To understand how men and women get involved in the adult film industry is just mind-blowing. In Tera Patrick's case and like most women in porn, she lived a rough childhood. Her mom was abusive, and her dad was never around to teach her about the facts of live All she knew was that after seeing a photo of Paulina Porizkova on the cover of her dad's Playboy as young girl, her dream was to be a model and have guys worship her. And thanks to some bad advice, bad friends, and bad relationships, she ended up doing pornographic movies signing a raw deal which might would end up screwing her over in the long run. Tera became a phenomenon in the industry and ate up the lifestyle by doing drugs, smoking pot, and becoming a recluse to her friends and family. She hooked up with Evan Seinfeld from Biohazard thinking he was the perfect fit of a husband for her. The perfect male specimen adorned with tattoos and full of adrenaline who is not a good example of a nice Jewish boy. But like most porn relationships, the marriage was doomed once her husband got involved doing porn movies with her. She grew up and wanted to become an entrepeneur, not performing in any more XXX movies so she could be a normal wife and raise a child. After the book was written and almost ready for print, Seinfeld and Tera broke up because he really just used her to get himself into the porn world. The book was a quick and easy read, but I don't really feel sorry for Tera Patrick. Her time has come and gone, and although she might appear in some reality shows and on the cover of Maxim, her chance to become the biggest mainstream porn star is finished. The book was like some kind of therapy for her, but it won't surprise me to hear that she has returned to doing porn movies again really soon. My brother, dad and I actually had the pleasure of meeting her back in 2002 and she was really nice even if the posse with her were completely rude and overprotective of her. Check out the classic photo of my dad and her below.

Well, it is almost time to end this little rant. Of course you all know my focus is on the Minnesota Vikings this Sunday. If you stuck a lump of coal up my butt tonight, by Sunday you would have a diamond. I've been down this road twice in my lifetime as a Vikings fan seeing them come up short in the 1998 NFC Championship Game (Gary Anderson sets the record for most consecutive field goals and extra points, but shanks a 38 yard FG to win the game) and 2000 NFC Championship Game (The Giants destroyed them 41-0 which almost caused me to go postal at the ESPN Zone in NYC where me and pals were watching the game). I want this so bad! So bad! And to make things even more interesting, Prince has recorded a new theme for the Vikings. Prince?!?! The only black guy who lives in Minnesota has finally shown some interest in his local football team. The song is pretty cheesy and sounds likes something you would hear in church! Couldn't he just rerecord Let's Go Crazy or Raspberry Beret with new lyrics? Speaking of pop songs for football teams, why hasn't any other team since the 1985 Chicago Bears recorded a tune? Wouldn't it be sweet if the Vikings created the "Purple People Eater Shuffle" with Favre, Peterson, Allen, Rice, and the rest of the boys rapping alongside Jay-Z or Timbaland? The Bears actually won the Super Bowl after doing so. If teams are 1-0 due to to recording a song and bringing the team together, why hasn't any other team done it since? Hell, just for shits and giggles I did some research, and noticed that the Super Bowl Shuffle hit #41 on the charts and was even nominated for a Grammy. With the love so strong in the media for Brett Favre, you don't think the Vikings could record a kick-ass anthem better than what Prince did? That might be even better than an actual Super Bowl win!! On second thought, what the hell am I talking about? Below is Prince's new fight song and also the very popular Pants On The Ground video featuring (hopefully!) the 2010 Super Bowl Champion Minnesota Vikings.

If the Vikings do lose on Sunday,there might not be any more blog articles for a while until I get out of what could be a three week funk! Skol, Vikings, Skol!



  1. I'm with you on the Haiti Telethon in every way you expressed your opinion. Why not Hope for Starving Homeless American Children???? Why not join Jerry Lewis's Telethon? Why every freaking channel? Enough of the self gratification Hollywood!!!!

  2. I think some teams have recorded songs since the 85 Bears. In fact in 1985 the Patriots recorded their own song "New England: The Patriots and We" as a response to the Super Bowl shuffle. After winning Super Bowl XXI the Giants recorded "Walk Like a Giant" which was based on "Walk Like an Egyptian". During the 86 season the Raiders and Rams both recorded songs. And in 1999 the Jags recorded a song prior to the playoffs. So it seems like teams recording songs don't have all that good of a record. C'mon Mr Pop Culture, I dont expect you to know all of this but you gotta know the Giants song!

  3. I have the Raiders and Rams songs in my collection but they were recorded during years when those teams weren't in the Championship games and just done in good fun because the 80's were full of cheesy tunes. The Super Bowl Shuffle was the only song recorded by a team heading to the Super Bowl featuring the personalities of the players. The Patriots song was just sung by a bunch of studio musicians with the video featuring some Patriots talking over the song, that doesn't count! The Giants song was recorded after they won the Super Bowl, but I don't recall ever hearing it.

  4. Mike I am SO with you about the telethon. I was actually making the same rant at work yesterday! Someone I work with was naive enough to think that it was "nice" for the celebrities to "inspire" people to call and make a donation in exchange for getting to speak with a celebrity. He also said that he thought it was great that celebrities were bringing awareness to the issue. I laughed in his face! Does he NOT watch the news, listen to the radio or use the Internet? Awareness is there my friend. I would gladly watch an event like this if all of these same celebs were writing out $1MM plus checks, and getting on a plane to dig people out of the rubble, build houses and make food. Otherwise, I will stick to my own donations and watching shows on my DVR. Glad that we share the same sentiments!

  5. Lauren,

    thanks for agreeing with me! Anybody who needs their favorite actor or rock star to tell them to donate money is a real idiot, but unfortunately 75% of people in this world have no brain power of their own and do what George Clooney and Bono tell them to do.